Work from home depression is often downplayed and misunderstood. I’ve been there, and I want to share what worked for me to help me enjoy my work again.
It was March 2020. The news was buzzing about the bars shutting down for St. Patrick’s Day, schools closing, and businesses across the world pledging “two weeks to slow the spread.” Although I was nervous about the spreading virus, selfishly, I was a little excited. I get to work from home for two weeks? Wow! It’ll be such a nice break from the day-to-day office grind. I knew I was lucky and privileged to have this opportunity.
But then, two weeks turned into two months, and two months turned into two years… It’s been three for me, now, and I am still fully remote. The excitement wore off quickly. I was living in a 750 square foot apartment and sharing a desk with my partner who had just been laid off from his job. The work slowed at my job, and soon I was worried about being laid off myself (which, luckily, did not happen). I spent most days answering emails from the couch. By August 2020, I was back in therapy and taking antidepressants. Every day felt the same, and my self was slipping further and further away…
I got a new job in March of 2021, one year into the pandemic. It was a fresh start, a growing opportunity, a foot in the door! But, once I was acclimated to the work I was doing, I realized my work was low-level, monotonous and lonely. I only had meetings once or twice a week, where I would listen and rarely talk. My partner had been physically going to his job for many months now. I had no pets at the time. It was still taboo and risky to see friends or go to events. Day in and day out, I was alone. My depression worsened.
Finally, 2022 rolled around, and it seemed like the worst of the pandemic was behind us. Stores were open, concerts were scheduled, parties were happening, and most people were heading back into the office! But I wasn’t. And, there it was.
“Wow, you don’t have to go back into the office? You’re so lucky!”
I didn’t feel lucky. I had just watched my early twenties slip away. I saw my friends once every two weeks or so. My partner would come home and tell me all the boring, exciting, good, and bad details of his day, and mine was always the same. “What did you do today?” he would ask. “Not much,” I’d say, or maybe on a good day, “Oh, I cleaned/cooked/took a shower.”
I tried to turn to my friends and family for support, but I was quickly shot down. My mom loves working from home. She has 40 working years on me, and she’s not trying to network, build her skillset, and get promoted. She’s tired of the office, but I was just getting started. My sister owns her own business, and after 10 years of a painstaking and toxic work environment, she loves the freedom she has now. Most of my friends and my partner had to get dressed, get in their cars, and physically go to work every day, and they weren’t shy to remind me just how lucky I was.
I was alone.
I had just graduated 1 year prior to the start of the pandemic, and this was my first job in my field. I wanted to meet people, to learn from them, to develop my skills. Instead I was wasting my days completing transactional tasks in front of a computer screen. When I tried to find support, I was dismissed and told that I should just be grateful for my circumstance. My depression and anxiety were worse than they had ever been, and my hope for the future was dwindling, despite my pleas for help.
I still work from home, but I am finally starting to enjoy my life again. Less than 3 months ago, I was begging my boss to find me some office space so I could be around people again. Now, I am enjoying my life, freedom, and space. If you’re feeling alone and hopeless like I was, I’d like to share some of the things that helped me throughout the years. Some only helped for a little while, some make every day more joyous, and some are a struggle to upkeep. The number one, most impactful thing I did, however was this:
1. I got a new frickin’ job.
I know, I know, I did this back in 2021 too. But frankly, that job sucked. Here are some of the reasons my new, still fully-remote job makes my life so much better now than it was even a few months ago:
- A higher salary. Duh! A higher salary means I can invest in the things that make my work life easier, like my own office space, a comfortable chair, a monitor that is also a Smart TV, some aesthetically pleasing office supplies, an exercise bike that fits under your desk, and more.
- More meetings. In my new role, I have at least 1-3 meetings per day. In a large majority of those meetings, I am actively participating and my voice is being valued. That alone is HUGE in lessening the loneliness I have been feeling for so long.
- More complex, interesting work. Sure, I still do some boring stuff and work is still work. But I am working on more fun projects that require problem-solving, creativity, and collaboration. I get to flex my brain muscles and actually use my multiple dang degrees!
- A flexible schedule. This one has been HUGE for me, and if you can’t find another job, it might be worth talking to your boss about adjusting your work time. At my old job, I had to be available from 8-5 with a mandatory hour lunch. Now, I only take 30 minutes for lunch and start at 7 AM, so I am done with work at 3:30! This gives me back SO much time in my day to run errands, visit with friends, go to the gym, or even take a nap!
2. I got a puppy!
My puppy is absolutely adorable. He’s almost 2 now, and training him was so difficult and so rewarding. Aside from giving me something interesting to do, his sweet little face and snuggles bring so much joy into my life. When I first started my search for a new job, I wanted to go back to the office. But then I thought about leaving him, and it broke my heart. He sits at my feet and sometimes in my lap during my work day, and it just makes everything better. If you’re a cat person, get a cat, but if you work from home, you absolutely need a pet.
3. I created a dedicated work space.
Sharing a desk just wasn’t cutting it. I got my own, huge desk, set it up in the corner of a room, and created a working space that I love. I decorated the walls, found productivity tools that help me stay organized, and made sure I had enough monitors, an ergonomic keyboard and mouse, and all the tools I needed to make my space feel like me, and be comfortable and organized.
4. I started following routines.
Working from home can be a blessing and a curse. On one hand, we have the luxury of answering emails from our beds, but on the other hand, it can lead to a lack of structure and routine (and some visits to the chiropractor!). I found myself feeling restless and not knowing what to do with my free time. Having a routine has not only helped me feel more productive but also less anxious and depressed. Here are some suggestions to get you started:
- Exercise. This is SO important, not only for your physical health, but your mental health as well. Whether it’s a daily walk with your aforementioned puppy, a Pilates class, or a home exercise on YouTube, find a way to squeeze in even just 20 minutes of exercise every. single. day.
- Skincare. I was never a skincare-routine kind of girl before. But now, every night before I go to sleep, I brush my teeth and hair, and use a cleanser, toner, and moisturizer. I absolutely love this starter set from CLINIQUE.
- Cleaning. I don’t feel like cleaning every day. I’m more of a once-a-week, can’t-take-it-anymore type of cleaner. But that just gets way out of hand, way too quickly. So instead I commit myself to cleaning one area of the house every single day, even if that just means wiping down the counters or vacuuming the rug. I still deep clean on the weekends, but this helps that not feel so overwhelming and makes me feel like I accomplished something in my day.
- Meditation and mindfulness. I’d love to be as zen as every yoga teacher I’ve ever met, but I’m just not. Sitting in one place for 15-30 minutes and trying to “clear my mind” is a recipe for an anxiety spiral. So, my therapist suggested starting small. Now, twice a day, I take 2 minutes to have a mindfulness and grounding moment. Whatever I’m working on or obsessing about can wait, and I take the time for me to check in with my mind and body and live in the present.
5. I got professional help.
I know it can be scary to talk about mental health and seek help, but it’s crucial to take care of yourself. I reached out to a therapist and started attending regular sessions. It’s helped me see my life through a different lens and address some of the issues I’ve held onto for so long. Having someone to talk to about my struggles and concerns, and finding the right medication for me has actually changed my life.
If you’re struggling with depression while working from home, I hope this will help you to feel less alone and encourage you to find some resources. There are things you can do to improve your mental health and wellbeing. Consider getting a new job that makes you happy, getting a pet, creating a workspace that you love, starting a daily routine, and reaching out for professional help. With some meaningful changes and and support, you can take steps towards feeling better and enjoying the perks and freedom that come with remote work. But at the end of the day, working from home isn’t for everyone, and if you are struggling, just know that you’re not alone, and you don’t have to feel lucky, blessed, and grateful if it isn’t right for you.
-w.w.
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