what is success?
Success is a word that I hear thrown around all the time, and it usually has a narrow meaning. It’s easy for me to see why this is; success is often touted as the end-all-be-all for an individual. Are you making money? Graduating college? Working in your dream job? Starting a business? Getting married? Everyone seems to have a list of the things you should be doing to “be successful.”
The truth is, success looks different for everyone. To some, success is starting a business, making their first million dollars, buying a house, driving a sports car, having a rockin’ bod, or working their dream job. To others, it is starting a family, finding a loving partner, supporting a cause, healing past trauma, living their truth, making art, or just simply being happy.
I try to have a healthy balance of both sides of that coin. I consider myself as successful as any 26 year old woman can be (cue one of my fav Ariana Grande songs). I am finally at the point in my life where I can take a holistic approach to my life, my career, my education, my health and happiness, and yes, my success. But it was not an easy road to get to this place.
my journey to “success”
I graduated college and begrudgingly paid my tuition (no student loan flex), but it came at the severe expense of neglecting my physical and mental health. Contrary to the norm, the four years of my undergraduate studies were some of the worst four years of my life. I worked full time while enrolled in 15-18 credit hours at school. I didn’t know how to eat healthy, so I fueled myself on junk food and caffeine that left me feeling constantly exhausted. My “workouts” consisted of standing in one place for 8-10 hours per day at work, occasionally walking back and forth. My mental health was suffering, so I got by with a high dose of antidepressants and a steady diet of marijuana (hey, it’s legal here). I didn’t value myself or know how to love, so I chose partners who drained me, hurt me, and mentally and emotionally abused me.
My graduation day was one of the best days in my life – not necessarily because I had finally earned that expensive piece of paper. It was one of the best days of my life because I gave myself permission to finally stop focusing on that ONE goal, and start focusing on the whole ME.
I wanted to graduate in four years to get out of the sales job that I hated and into my “career”, and I sacrificed a lot to make that happen. If I could go back in time and talk to the little 17 year old me at high school graduation, there is so much I would say and do differently. Before I tell you how I think you can be successful, allow me to let you know what success means to me, personally:
I have a comfortable and enjoyable job in my field of choice, making enough money to support myself and own a humble home in the city I love. My job offers adequate vacation, sick time, and holidays for me to enjoy a healthy work-life balance and travel to exciting destinations once or twice a year. My coworkers are caring people who treat each other well and offer support. I have a loving partner who shares the burdens and joys of my life with me, and a precious dog to take naps with. I have enough money in the bank to handle an emergency, and I feel financially secure. I have the free time and energy to focus on my physical and mental health, including time to make healthy meals, exercise regularly, and work with a therapist to attend to my mental health. My creative energy flows freely, and I paint and write to express myself regularly. I have the energy, power, and confidence to know I can set and achieve new goals as they come. I am comfortable in my self, assured in my identity, and proud of who I am.
why you need ambition
Not everyone has the same levels of ambition. While some want to build a successful company, become the president, or get famous, others simply want to exist peacefully and build a life filled with happiness.
Whatever your goals, creating and fostering ambition is an essential aspect of personal development as it serves as a driving force that propels you towards fulfillment. Without ambition, life may lack purpose and direction, leading to a sense of stagnation and dissatisfaction.
When fueled by ambition, individuals are motivated to set ambitious goals, envision a better future, and take proactive steps to turn their dreams into reality. Ambition provides the necessary motivation and determination to overcome challenges, seek continuous growth, and strive for excellence. It pushes you out of your comfort zones, encourages you to embrace new opportunities, learn new skills, and expand your horizons. Only by doing so can you live a life that is fulfilling rather than just sustaining your existence.
Being fulfilled can be defined as experiencing a profound sense of satisfaction and contentment in various aspects of life. It goes beyond fleeting happiness and encompasses a deeper sense of meaning and purpose. When you are fulfilled, you feel a sense of alignment between your values, passions, and actions. It involves living authentically, embracing your true self, and making choices that resonate with your core beliefs.
Fulfillment stems from having a clear sense of purpose and meaning, understanding how your actions contribute to something greater than yourself. It also involves personal growth and development, continuously learning, evolving, and tapping into your potential. Building deep and meaningful connections with others is another aspect of fulfillment, nurturing relationships that bring joy, support, and a sense of belonging.
Even if you don’t have big dreams, having ambition is still essential to creating a life that is fulfilling. Ambition is not solely about pursuing grandiose goals; it is about having a drive and determination to make the most out of your life. It is the fuel that propels you to push your own limits, discover your true potential, and make a lasting impact on your own life and the lives of others around you.
your roadmap
I’m not going to tell you exactly how to run a successful business or make a million dollars; I don’t know how to do those things. However, I have many peers who struggle with the concept of success, and that is who this is for. I’m here to tell you how to take care of yourself, value yourself, set goals, and achieve them with time, hard work, and persistence.
Your early adulthood is the time for you to discover yourself and set the foundation for the life that you want. Although there are some ultra-wealthy and happy 20-something year old’s, it isn’t the norm. Don’t expect to have everything you will ever want before you reach 35. But, do expect to set the building blocks up so that your health, wealth, relationships, creativity, and career will flourish throughout the rest of your life.
Here is my 10-step roadmap to success in young adulthood; although this applies to all walks of life. After each description, I’ll include reflection questions you can utilize to complete each step. In the coming weeks, I’ll be making new posts to detail each step in full. Once those have posted, I’ll include links to them here.
1. define yourself
Who are you? We tend to define ourselves by our accomplishments, our job, the balance in our bank accounts, our GPA, etc., but that isn’t what I mean. What do you love to do? What do you value? How do you choose to spend your time? What do you hope others remember about you? If you don’t know who you are, you will never know what you truly want.
- When do I feel most like myself?
- What do I love to do?
- What are my values?
- How do I enjoy spending my time?
- What do I want others to remember about me?
2. discover your talents
What are you naturally good at? This may be a controversial opinion, but I believe anyone can learn a skill and become decent. If you’ve never cooked before, you can practice and eventually make a completely edible, even good dinner. Talents, on the other hand, are unique to the individual. Your talents are those things that with enough practice, you can master.
- What am I naturally good at?
- What have I always had a knack for?
- What have I always wanted to try, but just haven’t had the chance to yet?
- What do others praise me for?
- What do others see in me that I don’t see in myself?
3. refine your vision
What do you want? This could be anything: a job, a car, a degree, an apprenticeship, an internship, a relationship, a business, a blog, a skill, a YouTube channel, a smokin’ bod, a healthy mind, a baby, a house, a quiet mind… Be specific. Make a list of everything, then choose the three things that are most important for you to achieve first. For example, if you want a job that requires a degree/skill/apprenticeship/internship/experience, you will need to focus on the prerequisite first.
- What do I want?
- Why do I want these things?
- Will these things make me happy or improve my life?
- What are the underlying needs beneath the things I want?
- How can I meet my needs?
- What will my life look like if I have the things that I want?
4. know your limitations
What is most difficult for you? Do you have trouble concentrating? Do you procrastinate? Do you have bad spending habits? Are you socially awkward? Are you out of shape physically? Do you have a disability and/or mental illness? Know that these things may stunt you, but they will not stop you. However, you will need to be aware of them in order to develop strategies to help yourself do the things you need to do.
- What are the biggest obstacles I have faced in my life so far?
- What do I naturally struggle with?
- What is currently preventing me from having the things that I want?
- What do I hate doing the most?
- What are some challenges I am currently facing?
5. set your goals
What actionable steps can you take to achieve your vision? When setting goals, it’s important to remember that baby steps are everything. If your goal is to make a million dollars, you can’t do that without making a thousand dollars first. Think about everything that needs to happen for your vision to come true, and write down everything it takes to get there. Use the SMART goal method; your goals must be Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-Bound.
- What is the first step that will get me closer to my vision?
- Which steps have I already taken to meet my goals? What comes next?
- What are all the things I will need first before my vision is complete?
- What knowledge or practice do I need before I can do the thing?
- Which step will take me furthest, fastest?
- Which step might take the most time?
- What resources or support do I already have that can help me achieve my goals?
6. do the things, then reward yourself
Setting goals, disciplining yourself, and working towards your dreams is hard. I’m not gonna lie to you about that. But that’s why you deserve to reward yourself after every step you take. Bonus points if these rewards get bigger the farther you go. Think back to step 1 for the things that bring you the most joy, and incorporate more of them along the way.
- What do I deserve for all my hard work? How can I give that to myself?
- Am I taking breaks from my work to enjoy the little things in life?
- How can I incorporate more of the things I enjoy into the time I have now?
- Am I spending time with friends, building relationships, and making memories?
7. prioritize your health
I wish I paid more attention to step 7 in my early 20’s. While you might not have to worry too much about your bones creaking, gaining weight, developing heart disease, or having a heart attack in your 20 and 30’s, the health habits you are building now will carry you into the rest of your life. Eating well, exercising, and attending to your mental health will make all of the other things you are trying to do so much easier.
- Am I pushing myself past my physical and mental limitations?
- Am I making too many sacrifices to achieve my goals?
- How does my body feel? How can I help it feel better?
- How does my mind feel? Do I need therapy, medication, or lifestyle changes to make it feel better?
- Am I pursuing healthy relationships with people who want the best things for me in life?
8. fail, then try again
Everyone will fall down and fail sometimes, and it’s important that we do. Failure teaches us that we can get back up again, build resilience, and do better next time. No one is successful at every endeavor, especially on the first few tries. It takes resilience, honesty, and bravery to learn from your mistakes and try again. The ability and willingness to bounce back from failure will determine the level of success one can achieve.
- What have I learned from this experience of failure?
- How can I be sure that my next attempt has better results?
- Does this failure represent a pattern in my life?
- What behaviors can I change to make myself less likely to fail in the future?
- How did I bounce back from this failure, and what does that teach me about myself?
9. know when to pivot
Repeated failures or discontentment can demonstrate that something just isn’t quite right for us. Maybe we’re not playing to our greatest strengths, or competing in something that is too oversaturated, or maybe our soul just wasn’t meant for a certain path. Sometimes life intervenes and steers us away from what we think we want so that we can have what we are truly meant for. Knowing when it’s time to pivot and change course is an act of strength – not weakness – that can save us years of anguish and disappointment.
- What is my gut telling me about this endeavor?
- Do I feel happiness, contentment, and satisfaction when I am following this path?
- Are my actions aligning with my values?
- What am I giving up to follow this pursuit?
- Is this worth it? Why or why not?
10. enjoy the journey
Whatever your end goal may be, your life is what happens along the way. Don’t forget to stop and smell the roses, be proud of how far you’ve come, and encourage yourself for the steps you’ve yet to take. Although the road may be long and treacherous, it doesn’t mean you have to suffer on it. Pull up a chair, make a campfire, and roast some marshmallows while you’re at it, because life is more about the journey than the destination. Don’t lose sight of that.
- How can I make some more memories that will last a lifetime?
- Who can I cherish a little more today?
- What moments do I find the most joy in, and how can I have more of those moments?
- How have my goals and priorities changed since I first established them?
- What have I already accomplished, and how can I celebrate myself more?
final thoughts and PDF download
I’m not here to sugar-coat it for you, you have to work for what you want in this world. Unfortunately, your goals and dreams probably won’t come easy. It takes discipline, determination, and the belief that you can do it, and you are worth the life that you want to really make it happen.
Even so, don’t let the hard work and challenge of it all overwhelm you. Take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. Surround yourself with supportive and positive people who will lift you up. And don’t forget to celebrate the small victories along the way.
Success is not just about achieving a certain status or acquiring wealth and material possessions. It’s about living a fulfilling and purposeful life, and it’s up to you to define what that means for you. So, take the time to reflect on your values, passions, and goals. Be open to learning and growth, and don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone.
In the end, being success is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, perseverance, and a positive attitude. Reflect on the questions each step of the way, stay focused, and believe in yourself. With hard work and dedication, you can achieve your goals and live the life you’ve always dreamed of. I believe in you, boo.
-w.w.
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